Review: No More Heroes

Yeah, I finally finished No More Heroes. I would have done it sooner if I wasn't so lazy.

You play as Travis Touchdown, a late twenties-something otaku living in a motel with his cat Jeane, who just purchased a Beam Katana off of an online auction and suddenly proceeded to become an Assassin in the UAA. You do jobs, kill thugs, etc. to get money to enter Ranking fights with one of ten creepy psychopaths. During all of this you can get collectables, new wrestling moves, pump iron, get new clothes, and hit on the blonde babe Sylvia. You progress through each ranked fight up to number one, and it won't take very long. Maybe seven hours for me, and I'm lazy.

The fighting system, as I stated before, is awesome. Depending on the way you hold the wiimote, your attacks will be either High or Low. Beam Katana attacks flow smoothly and you can punch/kick/grab foes and perform pro-wrestling moves on them, which is very amusing.

Outside of fighting is the jobs and assassin gigs. The jobs are usually quirky and fun, despite the menial tasks at hand, they make it fun. The assassin gigs are amusing as always and I used them more than the jobs.

The town, Santa Destroy, is a ver gritty and dirty place, with lots of people trying to "Get to the Top". The driving system sucks, in my opinion. It's okay for it being not a main part of the game, but near the end it was just annoying. Travis has a beast of a bike though, reminded me of Akira.

The bosses are amazing, each one having their own quirks that make them amusing to fight, as well as difficult. I only died once through the game, in the second ranked fight. But I was playing on "Sweet" setting, and I'll probably run through again on "Mild" for the fun. Building up to the bosses are the thugs, with only a few different archetypes. Brass Knuckles, pistol, uzi, katana, axe, beam katana. It's all fun though, since they all are amusing to mutilate.

The game if VERY graphic, with blood flowing like kool-aid and people dropping f-bombs and the like, but if you've got the balls to even buy the game (AND NOT GIVE TO YOUR LITTLE KIDS SO THEY SHUT UP) you should be able to tolerate. No guts or boobies and such, just kool-aid geysers. I liked the game a lot, and I hope to see a sequel of sorts.